And So It Goes
by Vallora
Summary: Ryo's POV that Sort of Spans the entire Manga. What he thinks of Dee. Songfic


Disclaimer: Don't Own, Don't Sue Yadda Yadda Yadda.  
I do own the Album but I didn't write the songs on it.

The song "And So It Goes" is by Billy Joel from the Album Storm Front.

A "-" denotes a line from the song.

- In every heart there is a room  
- A sanctuary safe and strong  
- To heal the wounds from lovers past  
- Until a new one comes along

When I transfered to the 27th, I wasn't expecting much, just a job that would bring me closer to fulfilling the promise I made to myself when my parents were killed. A job I could be proud of, that might have made my parents proud if they were still alive. But what I got ended up being so much more.

- I spoke to you in cautious tones  
- You answered me with no pretense  
- and still I feel I said to much  
- my silence is my self defense

The first time we met, that day in the chief's office, you seemed so confident, so self assured, so in control. You said what was on your mind, regardless of the outcome. Part of me wanted you then, the part that recognized you as my other half, my soul mate. But the part that was afraid, the part that listen to others and those afraid of things different, that part kept me form acting on my feelings, kept me quiet. Kept me from getting hurt.

- And every time I've held a rose  
- It seems I only felt the thorns  
- And so it goes, and so it goes  
- And so will you soon I suppose

And so, for the past two years, we danced around each other and sent out mixed signals. Being serious one minute, then making jokes the next; Being jealous, but not wanting to admit it, And me, wanting to let go, but being too afraid, afraid of what society as a whole would say, putting other's comments above what my heart knows is the right choice for me. Pushing you away so many time that you almost gave up on me, if it hadn't been for that day.

- But if my silence made you leave  
- Then that would be my worst mistake  
- So I will share this room with you  
- And you can have this heart to break

It was the day that all the bombs went off at the school. That day I thought that I would lose you. It was then that I knew that if something had happened to you, I might have found a way to follow soon after. But you'd survived. Words can't begin to describe how I felt when I saw you there, looking back at me with that devil may care grin. So I tried to show what I couldn't yet say. It was as if I had been given another chance to finally tell you that your advances were making an impression on me. That you were getting through the walls around my heart that I had put there to protect me. I wanted to tell you to keep pushing, you would get through eventually and when you do, my heart would be yours, completely

- And this is why my eyes are closed  
- it's just as well for all I've seen  
- And so it goes and so it goes  
- And you're the only one who knows

These are the thought that go through my head as I wander the streets after having that run-in with Leo. With my mind in a turmoil, I don't even know where I'm going, I just walk, letting my thoughts wander where they will just as my feet wander; and both end up at the same place; your front door. And before I even realized that I had knocked, it opened, and there you were. It looked as if you had just taken a shower. You're only wearing a pair of sweatpants and a towel. You seem to notice how distraught I am so you offer to let me stay for the night and let Diana know what happen to me.

While in the shower, I remember the last time this happened, only this time I'm not numb or hurting. I'm not trying to find a way to drown my sorrows and make me forget. This time I'm in control. This time I want comfort, but not just from anyone, just you. I want you, because I realize that...

I love you.

- So I would choose to be with you  
- That's if the choice were mine to make  
- But you can make decisions too  
- And you can have this heart to break

- And so it goes, and so it goes  
- And you're the only one who knows.


End file.
